yum.

I just watched a video of myself singing from Soul Voices last year...the whole time i'm dancing my belly was shaking....blahhhh

E LITTER ATE

I find myself getting frustrated knowing that my vocabulary and my ability to articulate what I mean is diminishing. I don't know if it's because I've only been taking music classes and no liberal arts class. Kinda frustrating. I wasn't forced to read as a kid. I kept remembering how my elementary library teacher would constantly enforce the importance of reading. I regret it now. It's hard to get people to respect you when you can't express what you want. It's hard to get respect from people when you're unclear with what you want.

That's the theme of the semester. Unclear of what I want. This is the typical college, finding who you are issue, so I guess it's nothing completely out of the norm. But I can't sleep. My childhood insecurities start to haunt me. Can't decide on anything because it's what they want. Can't lose weight because it's what they want. Even if losing weight would probably help me to breath better. Can't write, because it's not what they're looking for.

This mysterious " they"...Who gives a shit. I tell myself over and over that these things don't really matter. Not everyone is busy thinking how I come off to them. So why should I be concerned about it? Irritating.

sure...

so i finalized the song i had to write for my aunts wedding. yay...and school will be over soon! =D...i had plans but nothing is following through...ahh i need to stop being lazy. lol...whatev...

easy like...sunday morning.

so kelly izzo ( www.myspace.com/kellyizzo) and i just wrote a song yesterday...i'm usually pretty bad with collaborating but i liked what we came up with...of course the most hyper happy-go-lucky people come up with this little goofy song...It's called "Goodnight"

....

so you know when you like someone, or someone likes you, you hang out with them, yada yada, and the night comes and you guys have to part ways...you love the novelty of the whole "goodnight" process...and after you've already said " goodnight" you still find something else to talk about to just keep talking...to stay out longer...and then you just keep talking too much and the "goodnight" is now ruined. and you've pushed it too far. haha...okay maybe only I go through that or am just really observant but hey its awkward. I like writing of awkward things. =P

If i can figure a way to post up the song i will soon...

zombie prom...

I could be a zombie right now, oozing out blood and almost naked with ripped clothes... but no, I chose to stay in and blog. Bwahaha...lucky you. I remember doing something called "xanga" before. I'm sure blogging is just about the same thing...I could've gotten drunk too...but no. just chose to lay low, hoping that maybe i could write another song...but i don't think thats happening either. hah. 

I guess I'm just in a weird mood right now. I lost my cellphone a week ago. So i've been disconnected from the world for a week. To be honest I was actually excited for a week without a cellphone. If I was meant to see someone, I'd run into them and not have to call. Everything would be by chance. I think cell phones have made us so dependent on each other and it can get kinda unhealthy. Like facebook. HAH. but i admit i do stalk people on facebook. not good. lol...i dare you to live a week without your cellphone. or at least a day. it might be a good refresher. eh?